I can’t sit here and write this without acknowledging how this bothers me – to know that a number can affect me -_^ I spend my time reminiscing as much as I don’t want too then thinking about what I should be acting upon. Living is remembering so I embrace every moment of a happy thought. As you get older the clock ticks faster and everything runs quicker and then your mind slows down because you become frighten. What you wish to happen next will it? Or will you make it in life? Sometimes we all set our dreams to the side to finish one thing we’ve had in mind that just so happened to…. well you know. Is it what we really want and will it make me happy? I bet a large percent of us don’t really do what we love. It all sounds like a fantasy or the lottery when you really think of the one thing you had wish to have done. There’s not one day that goes by that I don’t think about something that has to do with me (my happiness) It’s not selfish; it can reflect on others as well. I have thought about so much over the last couple of years and where I want to be. I was once told to pursue what I will say this; believe it, achieve it, and do it. Don’t let the numbers in your life intimidate you because you tend to believe there is a limit. Being under pressure sure takes a punch in the wall. I hate that you know. From the wound you then become a child to a teenager then soon into an adult and that’s where your gears shift. You go to the best colleges find a great man/woman get a job work till your pension, buy a new home breed some children, raise them then you grow old and die! All that, not in that order though. A little to the edge and straight forward but that’s the life cycle ain’t it! Then I ask myself, is that all? That it? I don’t want to be that person, who lives a routine life day after day. I’m not the average person who wants a desk job or cubicle! Raising children, living in the suburbs and driving the minivan to soccer games. I have so much more expectations! I live the made up life in my head. I’ve been told and by now I’ve learned that you must strive for the endless. Let the years bring us all what we’ve been looking for!
I wish I can close my eyes and when I open them I’m somewhere else. Somewhere so far away that numbers and time wouldn’t matter. I need to find my Peace, my Sanity, my Sanctuary and My Creativity.
I need to find me.
-Naomi M. Calle