This topic was not what I expected to have written today for my blog but what’s a better way to vent then writting about it. Guys whoever is reading this, don’t ever take life for granted, it’s too short and taken away from those who earnestly cherish it the most. I lost one of my best friends today, someone who I’ve known over 10 years. This person took a piece of my heart with him today. Sigh I am lost with words and I can’t seem to think of anything that can take me back to reality. I feel like I’m floating and everything stopped moving. I haven’t consumed drugs but I feel numb.  I am not religious but I am reconsidering to know why. What happens next? Have you ever thought of that? My friend is gone……….what about after?  This has to be incredibly surreal, I am trippen out and the only thing holding me together is listening to L. Zeppelin & Skynyrd. “All I can do is write about it” by Lynyrd is my clarity. You know something….  Life is a fucking bitch, how can someone so good leave us? how did I not follow up with him after his doctor appointment? throw me a fuckng bone.  I never met someone who was so goddamn motivated to follow his dreams so enthusiastic to live another day, a man who said he will travel the world and so he does. When I first met you, you told me you were going to travel. We had to have been 14 or 15 years old. Talk is cheap now and days but he was living his dream life. He went from complete poverty to the life he always wanted. He wanted to be free, he wanted to be happy, and he wanted most importantly to get out.  Daniel was so  free spirited and so open minded, young and wild,  and happy. He loved everything even if he didn’t know of it. So special he was so gradually excepting towards me and everyone that he had an impact on their lives.  He’ll always be in my thoughts, in my mind, and in my memory. You left us at such a young age, but like Billy Joel says “only the good die young” The moral of this story is to inspire, to realize that you shouldn’t take anyone for granted and you should appreciate them. Ones life can be taken away faster then a lightening bolt. I don’t even want to rant about how much pain I feel as to how I wasn’t  there these couple of days while my friend was suffering. We should always make time for the people who matter the most because you never know the day after tomorrow what it holds for you. And so today I learned and I saw what it brung me………………….








Guys sometimes when you are home alone and the house  is all to yourself and you’re feeling perhaps sad, unwanted, unappreciated, non determined or alone a great way to release that feeling is by cooking. Sometimes being creative in the kitchen makes you feel that you can do anything. If you feel down I guarantee you that this will take your mind off things. By accomplishing and cooking a full course meal it’ll make you feel like you can be more determine and motivated to what you wish to seek towards. The kitchen isn’t for everyone but it doesn’t hurt to try and be imaginative. Placing vegetables and meat along with seasoning may look easy but doesn’t mean it’ll taste how you imagined it to be. Which is why you try and do it again and learn from these small down scales.  When you’re focusing and using the proper ingredients to make something you’re looking for taste right it’ll make you feel so demurgic ! Sometimes I like to invent meals and pretend that I’m cooking for someone so I become more enthusiastic giving me the   reason to want to persue towards something great! this is such a great stress reliever , think about it  you’re paying attention to something so simple and you’ve forgotten what has been bothering you overall. Yeah I know, how original ! Today I made vegetable pasta with vodka sauce and garlic shrimp 🙂 Slamming !! Now I feel like I can conquer the world !!!!

Closure is key

ladies and gentlemen through it all I’ve learned a lot from my experiences. I feel that I am allowed to share a thought or two because I’m eligible and due for an explanation. For starters it is never a pleasing feeling to be toyed with. As human beings we have feelings and we grief. There shouldn’t ever be a time where a woman feels like she didn’t know what she did wrong. closure is so important in any given situation because either it’ll help a scenario for the better or worse. And that’s all a women asks for. The same goes for men, this isn’t a one way street. We both have gone thru this stupid path at some point in our lives or maybe currently are who knows. Why beat around the bush? Feelings? Fuck them people and feelings come and go. Here’s a change! Start telling the truth and end it for once and for all . What do you have to lose? Oh a broken heart? Someone else will come and pick those pieces up. That’s my motto. Don’t be so stuck on one freakin person if they didn’t learn to appreciate you. Like my mother says there’s plenty of fish in the sea. And  like our parents always taught us give your used toys to the less fortunate  if you know what I mean 😉